Pleasure and Painkill
by The Blight
Summary: Please for the love of god let this be a one-shot.
1. Caviar

So a while ago I was reading "Falling to Temptation" by The Ruff Pusher (incredibility entertaining overlord fanfic, you should read it), and I was flipping through some of the reviews when I noticed a comment made by a certain perverted sage. I wanted to ignore it, but it planted a seed with in me. No mater how hard I tried, I could't get it out of my head. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't work. The imagery haunted my brain and the only outlet I had was to write this in a blaze of passion.

* * *

"Well done Neuronist." Ainz turned on his heel and ruffled his robe in a kingly motion.

He was zoned out and his voice showed signs of anxiety. He had been racking his brain all day discerning Demiurge's plan but he haddn't the faintest idea of how he should proceed. He was terrified of disappointing the NPCs.

As he turned to exit the frozen prison, he felt something tug on the sleeve of his robe.

"Hmm?" He turned to see the brain eater holding his sleeve, sheepishly avoiding his gaze.

"What do you need, Neuronist?"

He looked at Neuronist's bloated form. Her skin was a sickly grey, like the color of a drowned corpse. Her arms ended in black, three-fingered webbed hands. Each of her fingers had a single two inch claw erupting from the end of it. Her head reminded Ainz of Davy Jones from the pirate movies of old. It looked like an octopus had attached itself to her head and morphed into her body, long grey tentacles fell from her jowls and the back of her head. Her features were anything but beautiful, her nose was large and uneven and her nostrils flared, her cheeks were bloated outward, her rancid mouth quivered underneath the tentacles erupting from her jowls, and her sultry dead eyes were a milky white, like those of senile old man who had gone blind.

She wore a black leather top that was much too tight for her bloated body. Her stomach bulged underneath the taught buckle of the top, and her cleavage spread bare above it. Her bloated legs were stuffed into a pair of heeled, black leather boots, and sickly grey flesh rolled from their rims. Her bulging stomach obscured her pelvis, so Ainz was unable to discern what she was wearing underneath, he imagined it would've been something akin to a black leather thong.

Her voice was unexpectedly girly. "You seem troubled, Ainz-sama."

Ainz realized he had let too much anxiety into his voice earlier and tried to salvage the situation, he did his best to hide the discontent in his voice, "I am fine, Neuronist. Thank you for your concern."

He turned to leave but the tug on his robe persisted. He looked back to the humanoid squid. "I can sense the pain in your voice, Ainz-sama. I want to kill it."

She affirmed her grip on his robe so that now she was clutching his bony arm underneath. Her second webbed hand came to enforce the grip. She slowly crept her body towards Ainz.

Ainz realized what her intent was and began to protest, but he stopped himself. It was like a puppet master had come down from another world and flipped a switch in his mind. The creeping brain eater no long appeared in his eyes as just an NPC, or child of his past friends. She was a being that exuded a sexual maturity, an intoxicating aroma that sucked him in.

Ainz gulped in his nonexistent throat and his breathing drew ragged in anticipation. His body and mind were completely monopolized by the woman who was drawing near him.

She grasped his arm between her cleavage and leaned into his nonexistent ears. Her whisper was more powerful than any succubus.

" _Ainz-sama."_

Those words triggered an explosion of heat within him. As if all his suppressed libido had erupted forth, filling his body to the brim. His bony arms shivered and he felt paralyzed under the grasp of the brain eater.

"N-Neur-ron-r-"

One of her tentacles rose up and rested on Ainz's fleshless mouth and it filled his nose with her scent. " _Shhhh…. It's okay, lady Albedo won't find out."_

Ainz surrendered to her milky, hypnotizing eyes. His mind zeroed out. He poured strength into his arms and wrapped them around her obese form.

She squealed in delight. "Ainz-sama!"

He pulled her toward him with such force and they fell over, with Neuronist on top. She brought her foaming rancid mouth to his parted fleshless lips. Her fat slimy tongue shot forth into his mouth and thrashed about inside his skull. Ainz felt and unbelievable pleasure as she summoned squid bile from deep inside her throat and filled his hollow skull to the brim. The rancid bile spilled out onto the floor and stained his robes.

While this was happening their hands were busy scouring eachother's bodies. Neronists hands traveled with a purpose and were arduously undressing Ainz, exposing his bare ribcage. Ainz's bony fingers desperately scoured her back to find the hook that undid her top. He found and undid the buckle.

Now unrestrained, her bare flesh crashed down unto Ainz's rib cage, like a dam that had been burst. The feeling of her mucus covered flesh sliding up and down his bones was more pleasurable than any slime bath.

She was kissing him so passionately it was as though she was regurgitating her entire stomach into his skull. She moaned through her kissing. " _Ainz-sama, please."_

His pelvis had been aching with an insatiable hunger, and that was the only cue he needed to unleash it. He threw himself unto of brain eater and pinned her to the ground. Her tentacles reached down to hold her bulging stomach while Ainz casted [Greater Break Item] on her thong underneath.

Her genitalia laid bare before him. It was sickly and grey, and it only loosely resembled that of a human's. Underneath her thin flaps were millions of tiny black eggs that pressed up from underneath and made the flaps bumpy. Her genitalia was less of a hole and more of a deep crevice where her ovaries quivered in anticipation.

Ainz positioned his pelvis over her. Her booted legs could no longer wait. She wrapped them around him and pulled him in. They both moaned in pleasure as their sacred parts rubbed into each other.

The knobs on Ainz's hip bone dug into her crevices and she cried in pleasure. Ainz grinded like a man possessed by the spirit of lust, such was his pleasure.

Neuronist's tentacles wrapped around Ainz's skull and drew him in towards her mouth. They kissed passionately through moans.

Ainz felt her fat oscillating body, gyrate underneath him. Her mucus membrane had covered and stuck to his bones, gluing their bodies together.

Neuronist's mind zeroed out as she climaxed. "AINZ-SAMA!"

Her flaps opened and her ovaries ejected piles of tiny black eggs onto the ground. She hung limply in Ainz's arms.

"...Ainz…-sama…"

Her dilapidated form spurred a deep feeling within Ainz's heart. She spoke softly, "This is where you fertilize them."

Ainz gently set her down. He spoke quietly, like a lover consoling their partner on her first time. "I understand."

He stood over the pile and-

 **Nope, Nopeidy nope nope nope , I'm done, I'm out. I'll never look at caviar the same way again. I need to be working on my other fics. I hope you're happy PervySageChuck. And please for the love of god don't ask for more.**


	2. Calcium

**I lied, there's more after all.**

 **I was blind but now I see the truth.**

 **Anyone who doesn't finish or comments with anything other than claiming that this is a master piece are cowards, deceiving themselves into false standards of beauty.**

* * *

"That concludes my report, Ainz-sama." Albedo bowed before the ultimate ruler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, the supreme master of Death himself.

"Mhm." Ainz's nod was so small that the succubus could hardly register that he had replied. He been acting that way for most of her report as well, so she could only assume that he was just entirely uninterested in the subject. Or perhaps he was just uninterested in her.

The thought stabbed her through the heart. "A-Ainz-sama."

"Yes? What is it Albedo?" His body was as still as a statue.

"I couldn't help but notice that you were wearing your robe all the way up. Is it perhaps too cold in here?"

Of course, as an undead, Ainz had resistance to cold so the question was a bit silly as is, let alone the fact that the throne room of the Great Tomb was temperature controlled all year round. But she couldn't come up with any other idea as to why her master and love would suddenly change up his fashion.

When Ainz wore his black, divine class robe, he almost never wore it all the way up to his neck and would leave his ribs and orb exposed. It was strange not to see his exposed body.

And also very irksome for Albedo.

"Cold? No. Of course not." Ainz replied.

"I-I see…"

She could also think of one other reason why Ainz was wearing his robes up all the way. "B-By the way… you wouldn't happen to know where Neurounist is would you? _It_ wasn't at its normal station."

"Why would you want to know where Neuronist is?"

"There were several hundred baby brain eaters infesting the lake on the 4th floor and I thought that maybe…" She bit her lip. "N-Never mind… I'll excuse myself then."

She bowed stiffly and turned away.

"If you insist."

Ainz watched the succubus leave.

Her hips swayed back and forth with her footfalls.

She had clear and healthy alabaster skin and wide hips. Her curves were supple and full. And her face was so even and pure so as to have been sculpted by gods. And not only that, she had horns and vertical pupils and black feathered wings. They hinted at hidden and captivating fierceness to her sexual qualities.

… only a fool would find her attractive. Ainz thought.

He had no doubt that ignorant fools would fantasize about having intercourse with the virgin succubus. The same thing too went for those who'd dare claim that the loli vampire or battle maids were also objects of sexual interest.

He pitied the foolish humans held such archaic and bestial thoughts.

But it couldn't be helped. Afterall, he was the undead overlord who summoned forth eldritch gods. His sexual preferences far surpassed the puny human psyche.

Something moved beneath his robes. A sultry voice graced his hearing.

"Is that succubus gone?"

"Yes…"

His robes parted to reveal an intriguing scene.

Neuronist Painkill. She was a cephalopod first and humanoid second. She could squeeze and stretch her squishy body as required.

Her head and torso were pressed up inside of Ainz's rib cage like a sickly grey porketta wrapped in butcher's twine. Her arms and tentacle-like jowls wrapped around his bony arms and her fat legs fell over his own.

Ainz was barely holding it together. He didn't dare respond to Albedo during her entire report out of fear of losing his composure.

The brain eater's body had a sexual power one could scarcely describe in words.

Ainz's legs went forward and he reclined deeply into the throne. Neuronist twisted her bulging body in the cage of Ainz's ribs so that she was laying on top of him, pressing him down.

"You know she is just jealous right?"

"Y-Yes… I know."

Her lower body rubbed against the smooth, hard surface of his glowing red orb. They had discovered recently that it was a very erogenous region of his body.

He felt his body begin to tingle.

A black thong was all the brain eater was wearing. It was the only thing currently separating her genitalia from the thing that may as well have been his own.

He could feel her squid-like bumpy ovaries pressing up against his orb through that thin piece of black cloth and it was driving him insane.

Neuronist moved her hips a little faster and pressed him a little harder. Her tentacles joined in and rubbed the orb from underneath from three different angles all at once, covering it in mucus. Being able to perform that action alone put her in a sexual tier far out pacing that of any of the other beings in Nazarick.

She continued to edge him just up to the threshold of sexual release and dip down back under.

"P-Please… Neuronist. Let me climax." Ainz pleaded with her. His undead body was burning from all the teasing.

The brain eater's head distended. Her boneless neck wrapped 360 degrees around his own. Her bloated, corpse-blue lips pressed into the opening underneath his jaw so as to speak directly into his hollow skull.

She blew a hot and acidic breath into his skull. He could feel the acid from her breath burn faintly into the ossified collagen lining his cranial cavity.

She whispered. "...beg for it."

She rubbed his orb a beat faster.

The all knowing and cunning Sorcerer King could not scheme his way out of this one. He was at her mercy.

"I-I beg you. P-Please… anything."

She slowed down and his heart dropped. "Anything?" She asked quietly.

"Y-Yes. Anything. I'll give you anything, just let me climax."

She leaned her head in closer and distended her tongue into his skull. She pressed him down into the throne even further. Her fat body weighed down on his spinal column.

Caustic saliva dripped onto the back of his cranial cavity.

Her voice was silent and sensual. " _No."_

She suddenly lifted her lower body and tentacles away from his orb. The sexual tension building up inside of him stabbed him in protest and his body cried in pain.

"Ahh-"

Ainz's mind went blank.

This was another thing that separated Neuronist from the rest of Nazarick in sexual capacity. She was a natural born torturer.

No one else in Nazarick would dare make him beg or go against his orders, but not Neuronist. She understood that intercourse was more than just the carnal desires of bones.

Ainz was also loathe to admit that as a lonely Japanese salaryman, he was a submissive masochist when it ultimately came down to it.

His pelvis moved upwards on it's own, desperately trying to re-familiarize itself with Neuronist's genitals. But no matter how he tried, those bloated rolls of soggy squid flesh evaded him.

Neuronist braced her pelvis up and away from Ainz's by using her tentacles, that way, when Ainz thrusted instinctively her pelvis would move upwards by the same amount, always staying just out of reach.

She employed the same strategy elsewhere too.

Her boneless arms stretched and wrapped around his own like a python coiling around its prey, but her wrists curled upward and away from him, preventing their hands from touching.

Ainz wanted so desperately to lace his bony fingers into her webbed hands. He wanted to feel her long and twisted fingernails rake into his raw bone.

They hovered just inches out of his reach beneath his robe.

He could only do so much from keeping his limbs from thrashing about fruitlessly.

The emotional distress Neuronist was currently subjecting him too was only turning him on even more.

After being subjected to the relentless dulling of his emotions by his undead biology, any clear cut feeling inside of him was a cathartic one. It pierced him with mind sharpening intensity.

He thrashed harder, scrambling to find his climax; the apotheosis of his desires.

The brain eater sloshed about in his rib cage.

She spoke again and her words echoed about in his skull. "You'll have to try harder than that."

Faint sounds of pained moans escaped Ainz's fleshless lips. "Ah-... Ah…"

A knock on the grand doors interrupted their ritual.

"Ainz-sama. It is I."

It was Demiurge.

Ainz panicked "D-Dont come-"

A tentacle fell on his lips to silence him. The brain eater purred. "...Let him in."

The tentacle quickly slithered back down and closed up his robes behind it, concealing Neuronist once more.

Demiurge's voice came again. "Hello?"

Ainz could not respond as he struggled to negotiate the slimy body slide beneath his robes.

He sat up straight in the throne.

Demiurge entered. "Ah, you are here… is something the matter?"

Ainz replied stiffly. "Oh- N-No, why have you come, Demiurge?"

The demon prostrated himself. He smiled wide. "I came to report that your plan worked perfectly."

Ainz had no idea what he was talking about it. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought that Demiurge was making fun of him.

He felt a pair of tentacles begin to rub him.

"Ah… er, now is not the time for that Demi-"

"-Sasuga Ainz-sama!"

Demiurge bowed lower. "I am sorry, I could not contain my elation seeing your plan unfold and simply had to report immediately."

"What are-"

"Only you could've known that the wine tray you pretended to spill at that banquet would lead to all this! The worker who stayed overtime cleaning up the stain ended up also being the worker who serviced the grand palace and would become and invaluable informant for getting information on the country's inner operations!"

The demon continued joyfully. "And that rock you pretended to kick casually walking down the street a month prior as Momon? That was the very same rock that that woman tripped over in the final battle, securing our victory in the final moments!"

Ainz felt like he was really getting made fun of and the anxiety compounded atop Neuronist's teasing beneath his robes.

"And Eclair! Who could've known other than you that he would be able to convince them to all rally together against Nazarick under one banner!? Now there is a woman named Zesshi Zetsumei waiting at the palace begging to mate with a penguin!"

Ainz's depression deepened.

Demiurge cleared his throat. "Ahem… anyways. The theocracy has drafted an unconditional surrender. I merely came to tell you that."

Ainz here a soft voice arise from the brain eater beneath his robes. " _Sasuga, Ainz-sama."_

He felt her tentacles slowly wrap around his orb once more and he released a quiet moan.

"Ainz-sama?" Demiurge questioned.

"N-Nothing, Demiurge. Thank you for your hard work."

"My work? Nonsense, this all according to your foresight."

Ainz could scarcely respond. He couldn't take credit for any of it and the guilt weighed down on him.

Neuronist rubbed his orb harder. " _Sasuga Ainz-sama."_

He released another moan, louder this time.

"Is something wrong, Ainz-sama?"

"N-Nothing! You are d-dismissed."

"Y-yes…"

Demiurge bowed and walked back to the grand doors.

Ainz watched him leave with baited breath.

The moment the doors closed behind him, his robes unfurled fully.

Neuronist shifted her weight and pressed him back down into throne.

She giggled lightly. "Sasuga Ainz-sama."

"S-Stop saying that. Its... degrading."

She pressed a tentacle to his lips and blew another hot breath into his skull. "Then why does it turn you on?"

"-ah."

His eyes fell on another tentacle distending away from them. Twirling playfully on its end was a loose black thong.

" _Sa-su-ga. A-i-n-z-sa-ma."_

The entire weight of her obese naked body crashed down on him all at once.

Their fingers and toes laced together and their bodies squirmed against each other in a flurry of vicious movement.

His orb started to glow.

Neuronist moaned. "N-Not yet! My breasts!"

Her hands guided Ainz's fingers to her sagging breasts flailing wildly inside his rib cage.

He groped them madly.

She shot her tongue inside of Ainz's skull and wrapped it around his jaw and out of his mouth.

Her body began to excrete slime in excess all over.

Everyone one if his bones from his toes to his skull became encased in a slimy film of mucus.

That was the third thing that separated Neuronist from everyone else. Slime.

The pleasures of the bone could only be experienced through the drenching of slime.

And not only that, but Neuronist had consumed a potion created by the genius alchemist Nferia earlier. It acted like an aphrodisiac.

The potion worked its way through her cephalopod biology and was excreted through her pores in conjunction with her slime.

Her raw genitalia hit his orb.

It was too much for him and he climaxed immediately.

"Ahhhhh!"

His fingers clenched around her breasts.

"AINZ-SAMA!"

Chunky green fluid spurted from her nipples.

The lactic fluid fell upon his spine and splashed down into his pelvis.

Their movements slowed and they breathed together heavily.

Ainz slowly sat back up in his throne and Neuronist slid out from beneath his ribs with a squelching noise.

She spoke in a dilapidated voice.

"M-Make sure... to save it all… milk... it's high in calcium... is good for the bones…"

Ainz spoke softly, scooping up the rancid liquid and funneling it in his robes.

"... of course, my love."

* * *

 **Happy April 1st everybody.**


End file.
